BASIC INGREDIENTS FOR THE BEST LIFE (EP3LSG)

Aloha folks,

Took few weeks off on vacation, and I gotta tell you it was well deserved and it’s been long desired.

If you are familiar with my write ups, then you must have noticed that I always end it with these eight words; EAT, PRAY, LOVE, LAUGH, LEARN, SHARE and GROW. I’ve been asked many times why I end with these words and what they mean to all of my write ups, so I will be explaining in details these words that make up the basic ingredients for the best life.

Eat: Yes… we all need food, no matter how busy you are, if you want to continue being busy then you must make time to eat but don’t just grub the next edible thing you see, make eating an art form, make a deliberate effort to plan your meals, go shopping for it, create the time, if you don’t have the time, employ services of someone who can, go out and spoil yourself to a nice meal of “amala” and “ewedu” with ”gbigiri” and all sorts of assorted meat. Your body runs on food so give your body the best. If hunger is out of your problems, you are half way there.

Pray: As much as the body needs food, the spirit needs more food, take few minutes every hour, to say few words to God, yes you can start that way, then eventually you get accustomed to God then you take the relationship to the next level, you walk before him and he walks with you, a life that is not devoted to prayer is like drunk driving, it’s stupid, dangerous and you never can tell where you headed. It’s just an existence, a life that is not given to prayer is given to spiritual absence, a display of utter confusion and reliance on incapable men. Make an effort to pray, it doesn’t require much work, all you need is to express yourself to God.

Love: The greatest motivation in life, love for God, love for the people, love for a man, love for a woman, love for money, love for cakes, our ability to emotionally displace our feelings towards another person or thing, four letters that makes men do the craziest things, LOVE… take the risk and offer all you have, love is not just a feeling, it is a choice to be committed to that person or thing, to give someone else a higher preference. So take a leap, give yourself a push, trust yourself to love completely, give unrestrained consideration to others, and make someone’s day just for the smile on their face.

Laugh: life is a tragedy and also a comedy, it’s all a matter of how you look at it, I can fall down a flight of stairs and cry about it or fall down the same flight of stairs and laugh at my sloppiness, it’s all about how you perceive things, develop a sense of humor towards life, see every tragedy as an epic comedy, try as much as possible to find a laugh in every cry, it takes a lot to cry and much less to smile, and you know… if you pretend to be happy by smiling, it has a way of rewiring your mind to make you actually happy for real. So smile friends, put a smile on someone’s face, laugh at yourself, laugh with others and don’t leave a friend unless there’s a smile on his face, making people happy leaves you happy.

Learn: you cannot know it all, even computers learn, so you are not exempted from learning, become a sponge, keep absorbing everything, from ideas, to knowledge to innovations, keep taking it all in, don’t ever think you are on top of any subject matter, rather be submissive to learn, be anxious to discover, be teachable and be flexible, learn, unlearn and learn again… that is the basic process of growth in life.

Share: So reading all the books in the entire universe might make you the most read person in the room but that’s all you’ll be... the guy who read all the books. But you can do more, yes… sharing, don’t be such a reservoir, if others didn’t share what they knew you won’t know half as much as you do, so let it go as soon as it gets to you, teach someone, show someone, give someone…become a pipeline for knowledge and any other thing you can share like your time, money and affection, don’t be a reservoir. Remember, reservoirs stink over time because they lack fresh water.

Grow: this last part from experience is organic, it happens by itself. Eating good meals keeps you healthy, praying elevates your spirit and keeps your spiritually sensitive to your emotions and that of others, it tunes your soul to love the right way and love helps you find humor in life, learn from every experience and share that with as many as you can… that’s growth people…that’s growth.

Need I say more? Now you know why I always with these signature and I hope you would be accommodating enough to let these words find residence in your subconscious and gradually sip through to your conscious as you go through every day of your life as a gift, an opportunity to become. NOW WITH THIS YOU ARE BOUND TO BE A WINNER. START GETTING USED TO WINNING.

Eat, pray, love, laugh, learn, share this post and grow

TheDANIEL.

7 WAYS TO GET INTIMATE

Hey there friends, been a rough week for me, (emotionally I should add), but I also learnt that we all have our issues, for over a week, I was unable to write, I just blanked out and I decided to use that moment to rest and relax, I must say, the rest was worth it. So resuming back to my art which is writing, I have decided to write a little something for the lovers out there. Most couples usually spend little or no time in planning or organizing their relationship, now I’m not asking that you draw a time table and a to-do list, and probably have a checklist of every time you kissed and a monthly review of activities, even though these are all good ideas (if you are running your relationship like a business), I’m talking about a conscious effort to spice up your relationship and not just let it suave with the current, a relationship like any other ship needs navigation, you don’t just get on a ship and say “let’s just move, we’ll see how things go from there”, unless you are planning to get lost at sea, the obvious thing to do is set a course, check all the systems and then navigate the high seas. A relationship need not be boring or quiet or uneventful, most men would rather not talk about it, and just be quiet all day, while some ladies could be a chatter box sometimes, it’s important that the communication lines of your relationship be open at all times, and there are many ways to do that. Yes, it’s not hard work at all, it’s all about intimacy and communication, just check out some of my ideas and tips that will get you and your partner talking, I’m sure you can pick up a thing or two to spice up your relationship.

1.       Get PERSONAL: Relationships are all about bonding, both mentally, physically, spiritually and the whole lot. One way to bond is to get personal with your partner, ask personal questions, get to know each other on a real level and I’m not talking about “what’s your best color” kind of personal questions, or asking number of sibling or something related. I mean real questions that shows you the type of person you partner is, behind the colors, questions that inquire about personal life, passions and past relationship. On this note I must advise that you exercise a great deal of discretion and not be judgmental, show some respect and be reasonable don’t go about asking questions like you are the lead interrogator in a major crimes unit. Ask questions like “What would you say to your younger self, if you could? What would you say to your older self?” or “If you could choose to be anyone, real or fictional, who would you choose to be and why?”, , and “If you could make three wishes for someone else, who would you make the wishes for and what would you wish for them?”.

2. PROUDEST MOMENTS (… and what you're not proud of): Taking the time to discuss what makes you proud is a way of knowing what gets your partner the most, you can always capture their emotion towards those things they are proud of. Then you can spice things up by talking about things you are not so proud of, the things you would like to change, why you think you need to change and how this change would affect you. For example, talk about how you hate that you are too self-conscious of people’s opinion about you, how you want to start doing things for yourself. If you have this kind of conversation the right way, you would be opening up your relationship to a new level of intimacy. Like I said earlier, show discretion but then don’t make this look like a confession or deposition, be sure to focus on the positive while addressing the negative.

3.       Got any bucket lists?: for those of you who may not know, a bucket list is a list of thing you would love to do before you die, not that anybody prays to die unless you are suffering from a weird disease and dying would be a better option, even at that, you still don’t want to die, truth is nobody wants to die, but a bucket list helps you put your aspirations in one place, so talk to each other about what you want to do before you die. Your goals and future events that you want to see happen? Why you have them on the list and how you hope to achieve them and trust me, it can tell you a lot about each other. A really good example would be you learning French because you hope to travel to Paris with your partner.

4.       NEED Advice: asking your partner for advise is an effective way of communicating, and I’m not talking about “should I wear green on white” kinda advise, even though you should ask that too, but I mean asking for advise regards serious life issues, it takes a strong person to admit that they need help and they want you to help, so you can be the stronger person, it’s healthy for your relationship and helps you to know what your partner thinks on important issues, For example, you might be having a hard time deciding whether to go for a master’s programme which is a big dream of yours or take a professional course like your parents would have preferred. Ask for some advice on what you should do and how you can help your partner understand your decision.

5.       WHAT’S UP with US: Talking about who you are as a couple is another form of intimacy in your relationship. You can always talk about the things you have in common and your differences, talk about your plans as a couple, how many kids you wanna have, where you wanna settle down, your hopes and ambition as a couple. Some people might be uncomfortably shy to talk about some of this things but that only proves why you need it, to be able to get to understand each other as a couple, and also make your partner feel secured in the relationship. Ask things like, “what can I do to make you happy?” “what do you love most about me”, “What is your favorite thing that we have in common and why?”, and “where do you see this relationship heading?”

6.       Let’s Read a BOOK. It’s a great way to bond and feel physically close. Whether you reading the same book at the same time or just sitting down together, wrapped up in each other’s arms and taking take turns reading a chapter or a page aloud dramatically or sliently if that’s what you prefer. But you must note that it should be a book you both like and are both interested in reading, if you are both given to comic books that might be a nice place to start.

7.       SEE MOVIES: this works if you both have like passions for the movies, you can go on a date and see a movie or just get a DVD and sit at home watching the movies, and after seeing the movies, you can talk about the scenes you love most, and the ones that got you off your feet, you can go over the box office reviews together, watch trailers and both anticipate the movies.

There’s a lot more to a relationship, and it all reveals itself thru intimate communication, so there you have very few of the thing you can do to spice up communication, don’t just let the current of love sweep you out of love, instead, steer right into the high seas of love in your relationSHIP. I hope this makes your relationship better. Till we meet on the big screen or small screen, (depending on what you are using to read my articles)…

EAT, PRAY, LOVE, LAUGH, LEARN, SHARE  this post AND GROW

TheDANIEL.

VIEWING CENTER

Those who know me personally will attest to my disinterest in the whole concept of being soccer fanatic, probably because of the annoying endless arguments, the unrewarding devotion shown by my friends or just because I love to defy the ideology that seems to dictate that as a man I should have an unrelenting support for a football club, well count me out of that.  But, Last weekend I decided to do something different, to go against my own principles, and defy my own norm… yes, i can do that… even though I was pressured by the epileptic power supply in my neighborhood, that seemed to have left my gadgets dead and  left the residents thirsty for power. Suddenly, we hear from a distance the generating set of *gtview*, a local viewing centre. The aroma of electricity was in the air and like vampires thirsty for blood, all the residents in my area could smell it and like zombies we all gathered our gadgets, laptops, mobile phones, chargers and extension boxes as we traced the scent of electricity to gtview.

Now my drained battery had forced me to sit humbly in this hall full of chairs, there were sockets at the corners of the room. There, two large flat screen TV was hanged in front with cinematic sound system, the lighting was mild and the ventilation was not so good, the air in the room was still and the crowd continued to increase as each person on entering, located an empty space to plug their extension boxes and a place to seat as the match began. The match was a premier league duel between the Red Devils Manchester united and Liverpool FC, the men that never walks alone. Quickly everyone took a convenient position and we all stared at the large screens as we watch the match begin. Even though many of the people in the hall came to see who would go home with the highly coveted 3 points for that week, my attention was drawn to something entirely different yet all the same relative to this heated match.

In this hall I discovered the different types of people you’ll find in a viewing centre, so next time you go to see a match in your local viewing centers, you might want to keep your eyes and ears out for some of these characters

THE QUIET OBSERVER: these are the men in the hall, they sit quietly unnoticed in the hall while they give their undivided attention to the screen, occasionally you see them lean forward in reaction to a goal or a missed goal and sometimes you see an expression of disappointment on their face, but you rarely see them speak, they might at intervals listen to some of the in house analysts who feel they can do a better job than the manager of the club, but in all, they remain calm and quiet throughout the match.

THE RESTLESS ACTORS: they are the first to get up at the event of a goal, a foul, a corner kick, even a throw in, at every opportunity, they stand up, jump up, clap their hands, even curse at the players should they miss a shot, they will never stay in their seat, they keep reacting to every action on the pitch and these guys usually show their anger in the event of a loss and their excitement in the event of a victory.

THE DOWNGRADING PESSIMIST: they would not shut up, they think every other football club can play better, they think highly of other clubs and very little of theirs,  every little mistake is believed to cost them the game, every move made by the manager is wrong and the players are just a time bomb waiting to happen, they keep showing regrets in the moves made by the players and changes made, they believe every shot missed by their striker is an easy shot for every other player in the world even their mother can easily make that shot, they scream at the top of their voice downgrading every pass, they usually keep quiet when their team eventually wins and their voice increases when their team loses.

THE BELIEVING OPTIMIST: these guys are the true fans who keep clapping and rooting for their team even when the odds are against them, they keep on seeing the bright side of every move and they are the balance to the downgrading pessimists, they believe every shot is a goal and you can hear them yell “goal” even before the striker shoots, they keep shouting “up man u” and they refuse to be disappointed, they are usually emotional as far as their team is concerned and they would argue about their team’s performance.

THE NOISY MANAGER: they are never quiet, they keep giving directions to the players even though they are aware that the players cannot hear them, they give instructions on which wing, which angle, which pass and which form of attack and defense should be used, they keep yelling at the screen and you can see their passion for this sport when the players refuse to heed to their instructions.

THE ACCOUNTANTS: have the facts and figures, they know which player was transferred for how much, how many goals, how many shots, how many cards were given, they know the figures of their team and they always bring the figures forward to every argument, these figures are what they base their judgment on and how they calculate their chances of winning.

The SURFERS: are never satisfied with what they see on screen, so they turn to their phones to keep up with the match following the match along with other matches, they stay online monitoring the score line of other games, reading reviews of analysts and following the match closely minute by minute.

The PEEPING TOM: these guys will never enter the hall, they stand at the door while they check the score line, they keep coming back at intervals to see who is winning and who is losing, their interest is not really in the details of the game but who won and by how many goals.

The CLUELESS: these ones are usually quiet not because they want to be like the quiet observers, but they have no idea who’s playing or what they are playing for, they are just their because a friends asked them to come or they followed the buzzing scent of electricity to the viewing center. They are seen looking around and watching who came and who didn’t, trying to see how many known faces are seated. Like me?

THE BORED: these guys are hard to please and they easily lose interest in the game once their expectations of the game are not met, they do other things like chat, call, or even argue about how terrible the players are and they back up their arguments with replays of missed goals shown on the screen.

All these categories share one thing, the love for football and the spirit of togetherness, these men and women come from all works of life, seated in one room, defying the comforts of their home and staying true to their devotion for this game, eyes glued to the screen and for the next two hours or thereabout, they forget about all other things and focus on the one thing that brought millions around the world together, FOOTBALL.

Celebration filled the hall when the red devils finally put one behind the net, the tension was eased and a relieving smile was seen on many faces, even though the goal was just an equalizer making the score line a draw, the fans of Manchester united could only see this draw as a victory as it meant that they get one point and they can continue their unbeaten streak. As far as they were concerned a draw was much better than a loss. And at the final whistle the hall went in disarray, each man back to their charging station, taking apart their extension boxes and making their way to the door with the satisfaction of a fully charged or almost fully charged phone, and a victory for their team.

*Please note that charges may apply for viewing at various centers, please consult a viewing center near you for the standard prices in your area.*

Do you think I have it all covered or there’s another category I missed out, or I probably didn’t do enough justice to some? Are you in any of the aforementioned category or you are even in more than one? Let me know your views, so I can update my categories and if it’s really interesting, I just might add it to mine {you will definitely get the credit}.

Till you read from me again, EAT, PRAY, LOVE, LAUGH, LEARN, SHARE and GROW.

I am theDANIEL