7 WAYS TO GET INTIMATE

Hey there friends, been a rough week for me, (emotionally I should add), but I also learnt that we all have our issues, for over a week, I was unable to write, I just blanked out and I decided to use that moment to rest and relax, I must say, the rest was worth it. So resuming back to my art which is writing, I have decided to write a little something for the lovers out there. Most couples usually spend little or no time in planning or organizing their relationship, now I’m not asking that you draw a time table and a to-do list, and probably have a checklist of every time you kissed and a monthly review of activities, even though these are all good ideas (if you are running your relationship like a business), I’m talking about a conscious effort to spice up your relationship and not just let it suave with the current, a relationship like any other ship needs navigation, you don’t just get on a ship and say “let’s just move, we’ll see how things go from there”, unless you are planning to get lost at sea, the obvious thing to do is set a course, check all the systems and then navigate the high seas. A relationship need not be boring or quiet or uneventful, most men would rather not talk about it, and just be quiet all day, while some ladies could be a chatter box sometimes, it’s important that the communication lines of your relationship be open at all times, and there are many ways to do that. Yes, it’s not hard work at all, it’s all about intimacy and communication, just check out some of my ideas and tips that will get you and your partner talking, I’m sure you can pick up a thing or two to spice up your relationship.

1.       Get PERSONAL: Relationships are all about bonding, both mentally, physically, spiritually and the whole lot. One way to bond is to get personal with your partner, ask personal questions, get to know each other on a real level and I’m not talking about “what’s your best color” kind of personal questions, or asking number of sibling or something related. I mean real questions that shows you the type of person you partner is, behind the colors, questions that inquire about personal life, passions and past relationship. On this note I must advise that you exercise a great deal of discretion and not be judgmental, show some respect and be reasonable don’t go about asking questions like you are the lead interrogator in a major crimes unit. Ask questions like “What would you say to your younger self, if you could? What would you say to your older self?” or “If you could choose to be anyone, real or fictional, who would you choose to be and why?”, , and “If you could make three wishes for someone else, who would you make the wishes for and what would you wish for them?”.

2. PROUDEST MOMENTS (… and what you're not proud of): Taking the time to discuss what makes you proud is a way of knowing what gets your partner the most, you can always capture their emotion towards those things they are proud of. Then you can spice things up by talking about things you are not so proud of, the things you would like to change, why you think you need to change and how this change would affect you. For example, talk about how you hate that you are too self-conscious of people’s opinion about you, how you want to start doing things for yourself. If you have this kind of conversation the right way, you would be opening up your relationship to a new level of intimacy. Like I said earlier, show discretion but then don’t make this look like a confession or deposition, be sure to focus on the positive while addressing the negative.

3.       Got any bucket lists?: for those of you who may not know, a bucket list is a list of thing you would love to do before you die, not that anybody prays to die unless you are suffering from a weird disease and dying would be a better option, even at that, you still don’t want to die, truth is nobody wants to die, but a bucket list helps you put your aspirations in one place, so talk to each other about what you want to do before you die. Your goals and future events that you want to see happen? Why you have them on the list and how you hope to achieve them and trust me, it can tell you a lot about each other. A really good example would be you learning French because you hope to travel to Paris with your partner.

4.       NEED Advice: asking your partner for advise is an effective way of communicating, and I’m not talking about “should I wear green on white” kinda advise, even though you should ask that too, but I mean asking for advise regards serious life issues, it takes a strong person to admit that they need help and they want you to help, so you can be the stronger person, it’s healthy for your relationship and helps you to know what your partner thinks on important issues, For example, you might be having a hard time deciding whether to go for a master’s programme which is a big dream of yours or take a professional course like your parents would have preferred. Ask for some advice on what you should do and how you can help your partner understand your decision.

5.       WHAT’S UP with US: Talking about who you are as a couple is another form of intimacy in your relationship. You can always talk about the things you have in common and your differences, talk about your plans as a couple, how many kids you wanna have, where you wanna settle down, your hopes and ambition as a couple. Some people might be uncomfortably shy to talk about some of this things but that only proves why you need it, to be able to get to understand each other as a couple, and also make your partner feel secured in the relationship. Ask things like, “what can I do to make you happy?” “what do you love most about me”, “What is your favorite thing that we have in common and why?”, and “where do you see this relationship heading?”

6.       Let’s Read a BOOK. It’s a great way to bond and feel physically close. Whether you reading the same book at the same time or just sitting down together, wrapped up in each other’s arms and taking take turns reading a chapter or a page aloud dramatically or sliently if that’s what you prefer. But you must note that it should be a book you both like and are both interested in reading, if you are both given to comic books that might be a nice place to start.

7.       SEE MOVIES: this works if you both have like passions for the movies, you can go on a date and see a movie or just get a DVD and sit at home watching the movies, and after seeing the movies, you can talk about the scenes you love most, and the ones that got you off your feet, you can go over the box office reviews together, watch trailers and both anticipate the movies.

There’s a lot more to a relationship, and it all reveals itself thru intimate communication, so there you have very few of the thing you can do to spice up communication, don’t just let the current of love sweep you out of love, instead, steer right into the high seas of love in your relationSHIP. I hope this makes your relationship better. Till we meet on the big screen or small screen, (depending on what you are using to read my articles)…

EAT, PRAY, LOVE, LAUGH, LEARN, SHARE  this post AND GROW

TheDANIEL.