relationSHIP: Avoiding a wreck

One of the first things that we all take for granted is RELATIONSHIP, it's not deliberate but we most times forget how much something really matters to us when we think we have it firmly in our grips.

And it usually takes losing something to realize its importance and value.

Wondering what the big problems in a relationship are, and what you can do to overcome it?

Depending on the kind of relationship you share with your partner, the problems in a relationship too could be just as unique.

At some point or the other, these problems have a way of creeping into your romance.


Keep an eye on these issues, and understand how to overcome it, and you’ll see how easy it can be to eliminate all the frustrations you experience in a relationship.

Remember this, you can’t stop problems from cropping up in a relationship no matter how perfect the relationship is. What you can do instead, is eliminate the frustration as soon as you notice them. So how do you know if there's a problem in your relationship?



Lets talk about Trust. Do you  trust your partner(as in really really)? There are two kinds of trust in a relationship. The first is that you trust your partner such that you have no problem of conflict of the mind with them going out for dinner with someone else? If that's not the case with you, I'm afraid you’re insecure or your relationship is still too fragile.

The second is that you entirely trust your partner’s choices. Can you trust your partner to be capable of making important choices for the both of you? If your answers to that is no, then it doesnt take a seer or a diviner to know that you don’t respect your partner or their opinions. And that’s not a good sign in a relationship termed for a long run.



Then Jealousy and insecurity sets in. couples that are insecure tend to be  caged in a cycle of jealousy and anger. So if  you feel jealous about the attention your lover gets or their bigger paycheck, you wont be helping them get better as an individual. It’s like your parent getting angry with you because you having “too much fun”.

Learn to have faith in each other and in the relationship. Instead of letting negativity build inside the relationship, learn to enjoy each other’s successes. After all, your partner is your better half, and any accomplishments of theirs are your accomplishments too, isn’t it?

The communication's out. At first, conversations are exciting and fun. You spend a lot of time getting to know each other. But eventually, you forget to ask the same questions again.

We are dynamic in our needs, in our preferences and the way we look at life. So don’t assume you know everything there is to know about each other or your romance will start to get stale, or one of you will start to give attention to some other person who seems more understanding.

So your love is just Incompatible. There's the chances that love at first sight and infatuation might last several months, it does a good job of covering up any differences in a relationship. But as perfect as two people may be, sometimes, they may just not be perfect for each other.

If you find yourself dating someone with whom you have nothing in common, you need to decide on the next step. Try to find common interests that both of you like, or walk your own paths instead of living in frustrations.

The Power of Money: If you've been in a relationship long enough you ought to know just how important money or the lack of it really is. If your friends earn a lot more than you or your partner, it ends up frustrating both of you. And on the other hand, if both of you earn a lot more than your friends, there's bound to be a lot of love and happiness in your lives.

I know it sounds stupid but it's the fact -a stupid fact of life-. But true happiness is majorly dependent on the way others perceive you. So if you’re having difficulties in your relationship because of money, then it’s time to change your friends and see the difference.



Time. Do you have enough time to spend with each other? These days, time is a luxury that most lovers can’t afford. But when you start spending too much time away from each other, it’s only a matter of time before one of you starts asking the big question, “Do I need my partner in my life anymore?”

Don’t drift away so far that both of you don’t need to be with each other anymore. Find ways to indulge in exciting hobbies or spend evenings going out on little coffee or ice cream dates. They make for great conversations and it’ll bring both of you closer too.



Misplaced priorities: Being in a relationship, doesn’t change who you are in fact, that’s where the problem starts. As an individual, you evolve and change all the time. You’re not the person you were last year, and you won’t be the person you are now next year.

And just like you, your partner too is changing constantly. And as such you and your partner may experience changes that will pull both of you apart from each other at regular intervals. And soon enough, both of you may have nothing in common. When that happens (i know it will), spend quality time in each other's company and try to evolve together in a similar direction. Share your beliefs and your interests with each other and it’ll help both of you grow together along the same path.

No Space and individual growth. Now this is contradictory to the earlier problem in relationships. But you still something to watch out for it. Too much of a good thing can turn out to be bad too. When you’re in a relationship, it is very important that you spend time with each other. But nevertheless, spending time away from each other is crucial too.

By spending too much time together, you’d subconsciously feel isolated from the rest of the world. And when that happens, you’d crave for any attention from other interesting people just to feel better about yourself and your ability to communicate. And you know what could happen when that happens, right?



So are you still in love? This is by far is still the biggest problem in a relationship, and one that’s hardest to overcome. We all know that falling in love is easy, the hard work is staying in love. Love is a delicate balance between dependency and passion. How much do you need your partner? How much do you love and want your partner? When the sexual excitement and the enthusiasm fade away, what do you have to hold both of you together? A relationship should never be based on sex alone. It needs compatibility and understanding, and it definitely needs dependability. Staying in love forever is not easy, but with a little effort, it can give meaning to your life.



note: Call me old fashioned or what have you, but I'm of the candid opinion that sex should and must be restricted to the married and the married alone, there's no hurry, you'll get your fill, just get married first. So this next point is strictly for the married.

(FOR THE MARRIED) When sex drive goes bye bye. It's not rocket science. Over time, both of you are bound to lose the sexual urge of the first few months or years of marriage. While both of you may have a hard time keeping your hands off each other to begin with, now sex may start to feel like a chore.
This is a very common problem in marriages, and yet, it’s one of the easy ones to solve. Always look for new ways to recreate the sexual high of the first few times, and before you know it, both of you may go at it all over again like frisky business, sex can be the spark plug of your relationship, bringing you closer to your spouse, but then you must be willing to step out of the norm and do something new and interesting, so you can both always look forward to it, even in your old age.

Problems in a relationship can come and go. But if you ever come face to face with these problems in romance, don’t overlook it. It could cost you the relationship itself.


I don't know much, but i might have some of the answers you looking for... check this blog for answers to some questions running on your mind and you can call or text me on (+234) 08140263326, 08082545772, or tweet @thedaniel_1 or better yet just send an e-mail to olubunmidaniel@gmail.com. theDaniel always listens